By Jessica-Ken:
STORY TITLE đđ TEARS đ§đâ
©Jessica Duru ââŁ
âYou said you loved me⊠you promised youâd never leave,â Arabel spoke amidst tears. Her boyfriend, Oliver, had just broken up with her. She wasnât willing to let go. Not yet. They had come this far, having dated for so long. She was broken to know he was calling off the relationship. After all they have been through, she couldnât stop thinking, he wanted to throw everything away and move on just like that. She couldnât figure out what went wrong, all she knew was that the man standing before her wasnât her Oliver. âOliver, this isnât you,â Part of her wished he wasnât the one.
âThis is me, Arabel,â
Her heart was shattered.
âI donât want you-â
ĂĂĂĂĂCHAPTER ONEĂĂĂĂĂ
âArabel. Arabel?â
âIâm here,â answered an auburn haired lady with one hand raised.
She was in no mood to talk.
Sighing and sluggishly getting her raised hand down, she brought her legs down and made to answer.
âArabel, what have you been doing?â
âThinking all day,â she mumbled, grabbing a plate from the plate rack.
âOh, so you were hungry but couldnât stand up to help me in the kitchen?â
She grumbled. âMom, you know I canât. Still sulking.â She said, and her mom sighed. âOh, Arabel,â she made to hug her. âYou canât stay like this forever, baby. Oliverâs not gonna come back.â
âMom!â Arabel felt worse, hearing her mother say. This wasnât the comfort she was looking for. Her mother was making matters worse. âMom, I thought you would comfort me.â She pulled away. âI thought you were actually going to make me feel better-â she wanted that but was getting the opposite.
Itâs been a week. A week Oliver looked her in the eye and walked away with no remorse.
She hated him. She wanted him to feel all that she felt-and even worse. She hated him for leaving her; for walking away and not thinking how sheâd feel if he did.
âI hate him, mommyâŠâ
âI know, baby.â
âI loved him so much!â she couldnât hold back her tears as her mother drew closer to wipe them off.
Arabel and Oliver had been together since tenth grade. Now she was in her final year, she didnât know if sheâd surviveâŠ
Things were complicated in the young ladyâs life. She had never felt so down before. Her grades were not as good as they were the semester before; her boyfriend was gone-she was torn.
The pain she felt was worse than anything sheâd ever felt. If only she could bring an end to it and be free.
âI want to end this, Sylvia. I canât bear the pain anymore-â Arabel told her friend.
Sylvia was frightened by her words. âYou donât mean that, do you now?â she asked Arabel who stood by her words.
âI mean every word,â Arabel said, as she stood up from the chair, acting like she was going to leave.
Sniffling and sitting back down, she buried her face in her palms. âI canât do it, Sylv,â she sniffled again. âI really canât.â
Her friend pulled her closer. âYou have to get yourself together, girl. Oliverâs already moved onâŠâ
âBut I canât!â Arabel clenched her fists with disdain. âOliver has been the one right from the start,â she made clear.
Sylvia went further to tell her that he wasnât the one for her. âBut Oliverâs not the one for you, my dear,â
Arabelâs stomach tightened in pain. âI really hate him!â
Her friendâs lips curved. âMm, I know you do.â
Arabel huffed, and said, âIâm definitely going to make him pay!â
Her mother came out. âWhat did you say?â
Arabel turned to look at her. âIâll make him pay, mom,â she remembered her friendâs warning; she had warned her not to get too attached, but she was too stubborn; too clingy. She had let her emotions get the best of her, and now she was paying the price. âIf only I had not gotten so close to him,â she held her stomach, regretting not listening. âIf only I had not let myself love him so much,â she let her heart ache while the pain tarried.
Remembering their last meeting, she felt a whole new crippling pain. If only she knew it was going to be their last, she thought with quivering lips.
Michigan University was a thirty minute trek from Arabelâs house. She walked tiredly, feeling completely dragged out from her sulky space, reaching the front gate, as she saw her ex and his new girlâlike she assumedâwalking hand in hand, smiling happily.
âJust chillââ she muttered under her breath and walked past them, acting like they werenât there.
Arabel couldnât believe Oliver would move on so fast. Wasnât it just last week? She felt her breath slowly leave.
How he was able to move on, she couldnât understand.
She ended up concluding he was a monster, the thought of it ringing in her mind as she walked to class.
âGirl, youâre funny. Donât tell me you were thinking about Oliver all day,â
âI was.â
Arabel couldnât get her mind off him. She had such a hard time averting it from him. Sometimes she found herself wishing he had never walked away. Other times she sighed at how easy it was for him toâ
âDo you think he ever found me attractive?â
Sylvia gave a loud laugh. âYouâre funny.â
Arabel concurred. âI knowââ she paused. âBut do you?â she asked, seriously searching for an answer.
Sylvia tried not to snicker. âOh, please donât tell me youâre still thinking about him?â
Arabel denied.âIâm not,â she went further to say, âIâd long forgotten him.â
Sylvia doubted though not showing it. âSo how are you?â
Arabel was unsure if to tell her what was making her feel unwell. âOliver and I had sexââ
Sylvia was baffled. She had known about their regular make outsâbut sex?! âYou didnât?â she gasped, acting surprised. âGirl, you better be jokingâŠâ
Arabel attested, âBut Iâm notââ
Sylvia gasped again, then laughed. âOh, Iâm kidding. But waitââ she paused with a finger raised. âThat dudeâs got guts. How dare he?!â
Arabel sighed. âHe gave no sign, thatâs what hurts,â
Sylvia made to comfortâ âOh, baby. Just cheer up.â she rubbed her knuckles lightly, as she said, âI know wherever he is, heâs regretting giving you up.â
Arabel smiled but deep down could tell he was regretting nothing.
Arabel
I was starting to think I was running mad, seeing Oliver while he wasnât there.
I thought I had gotten over him.
Three weeks.
Three weeks yet the thoughts of him lingered.
I remembered the happy memoriesâand the sad ones.
Weeping again, I threw curses which I knew wasnât going to get to him.
How could he move on just like that? I shook my head in rage, slamming my fists.
I hated him to the very core. Seeing him suffer was all I cared.
I was feeling nauseous, having cried all night. A bit of a mistake, I told myself, but I could help it no more but let my emotions bulge out lest I got out of control.
Oliver was happily living his life. Why wonât I be? I constantly asked.
I couldnât figure out why Iâd let the thoughts of him pull me down while he enjoyed and went about his normal life. Not like he treated me any betterâI knew I had to let go of every memory and live my own life.
Breakfast has been served, I sighed, accepting the truth.
I had to stop sulking and be that girl Momâs always wanted; the thought of that made me smile.
Being in my final year wasnât that easy. I had to strive just to get my CGPA back on trackââArabel, you got thisââ telling myself, determined not to let anything get in my way, I walked with shoulders raised, happy to know I was going to heal just in time.
âJessica †Duru ââŁ