POSTED 03/05/2018 17:38:33
She told me to remove my clothes.
She said it was hot and I should take them off. I didn't really understand the need to remove them but she seemed so insistent that I complied.
What could I have done? We were playing wrestle when she told me to do this. She was lying on her back and I was splayed across her stomach.
I took the clothes off, and wanted to go have a bath or at least play with water. But she drew me back unto her stomach, drawing me up till my temple was nestled between her breasts.
I was confused but I accepted, it wasn't the first time she'd cuddled me was it?
But today was different, because she soon pushed me off and took off her t-shirt, which were quickly followed by her knickers. It was still normal to me though, as I'd seen her leave the bathroom several times.
She drew me back unto her and I nestled against that familiar comforting softness.
And she did something she'd never done before.
She started to touch me where mom had always told me to never bring out in public. But mom had never said no one should touch me there, so I let it be. Even as I started feeling something I'd never felt before.
I was six at the time.
When I was nine, I came across Aunty Vera again.
What could I say? Who could I tell? Did I even want to tell anyone?
I thought she would stay away from me or ignore me. But she took an interest in the suit I was wearing and even helped me out of it.
She conversed with me like that night had never happened.
I kept talking about school and making small talk with her. I kept searching her face for any sign that she remembered that day, but found nothing. I wasn't sure if I didn't want what had happened that night again, now that I know what we did.
I guess she wasn't herself the night it happened.
I felt something in my heart that wasn't relief that she would remember our private sin. I felt disappointed. I realized that I wanted her to remember or rather, see that I remembered.
So I'm here now at seventeen, my attraction to older women fueled by that night.
The night that changed my soul forever.
I've had sexual encounters with older women about three times these past years now. They all seem drawn to me like I am to them.
I know it's a crime in our country, but i don't really care.
I am not complaining.
And if I ever cross paths with Aunty Vera again, I will slither to her side when no one is watching and whisper into her ears... "I enjoyed that night."
Who said pedophiles only came in one gender?
Who said men don't have stories to share?
We just keep it buried, until a nightmare brings it all back in the middle of the night.
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