POSTED 04/01/2018 21:19:48
Humans are very unpredictable. It was yester night that I knew that a gentle looking sheep may actually be a wild devouring wolf indeed. Football is a game I've come to love so much because I now understand its intricacies. It intrigues me a lot so I didn't hesitate to go out and watch the Arsenal vs Chelsea match yesterday at the viewing Centre that was a stone throw from my house when my roomie suggested the idea.
We went early so as to secure a seat and not miss the commentary, the match began and the hall became rowdy when the first goal was scored by one Wilshere guy like that and my friend shouted at top of her lungs that the match will end with a 2-2 draw.
"If it does, I'll give you 5k" boomed a dark heavily bearded Arsenal fan who was hailed as "Chairmo" by fellow viewers.
Serenity returned as the match was still in progress, fans bet and predicted and finally it was over with a 2-2 draw.
"Time to go home," I whispered to my friend who was smiling sheepishly.
We both headed towards our debtor to collect the 5k he promised.
"What are your names beauties?" he queried.
"I'm Future" my friend answered while gesturing towards me to speak for myself.
I pretended not seeing her. "Is that why you could predict the match easily? You must be truly the future. Call me Otywhyte and this is my friend Bellus" he turned, facing a dark beardless fellow who had been standing beside him all along.
"What’s your name cutie?" He asked an already impatient me.
"I'm Sandra but My pale call me Sana, my male friends call me San San, but my friends call me Sandy coz na me dey make things happen for our domot. Anyway you can me sand." I paused to take in air as I enjoyed the puzzled look smeared on their faces. "I no bin come here to do too much talk coz no be my talent be that, na 5k make me and this my fresh babe waka come hia. So therefore comma, would you please redeem thy vow? Coz eleven wan knack so, we wan start to dey waka before this boys start to dey break bottles abeg" I pleaded in a language I knew I wasn't fluent in.
It produced the desired effect I needed on him as he brought out his wallet and counted clean five one thousand naira notes and handed them over to Future, I snatched the money from her and counted them for confirmation.
"Oga you try" I said as I brought the notes close to my nose and inhaled its strong smell. "Oya chop knuckles" I said as I folded my hand to knock against his own in an act of salutation to which he gladly reciprocated.
"This girl na area scatter o" he said.
"I swear" Bellus replied.
I wasn't perturbed by their comment because it wasn't the first time I heard that.
"We should be on our way now," I suggested to my friend. "Thank you, it's been a pleasure meeting you guys" cooed Future with an extended handshake which I followed suit only to have a glimpse of Bellus looking at me with the meticulousness of a goldsmith.
We were three feet from them when Bellus yelled "One more thing ladies, may we have your contact please?" Future and I darted each other quick glances because that was a question we dreaded so much and we had almost successfully escaped it.
"OK no problem, 07092... That's mine and 090232... That’s her own" I gave out the fake number we memorized for such situation.
"Would you please call again? Let me confirm them" he persuaded.
"Oga abegy night dey age" I protested as I repeated the exercise.
"OK, thanks, we will call" they chorused like nursery school children.
We flew to the door to avoid further questions and we were heading home on a deserted street, turning to see if any one was following us but there was none, few metres to the house, the bombshell dropped.
"Who goes you?" a voice emitted from a container nearby.
"Ikpa lap" seconded another voice.
I nearly melted despite the cold breeze. The last thing I heard at the scene was "RUN!" and that was coming from my friend who had bolted away. I ran with a speed that defied lighting and they followed closely in hot pursuit. We dashed into our compound in an equalizing finish, kick in the door and banged it.
I panted for air as I gestured towards the ceiling, grateful that the gate was still open.
"Why did they pursue us like mad dogs?" I asked Future who was now laughing.
"You just answered the question. It's because they're mad dogs, you are bony, sorry skinny and they were aiming at licking the shit between your mountains" I dropped dead on the floor clutching my stomach as I laughed till tears formed in my eyes.
"You forgot that flesh gets devoured first before the bone is seen, they would have mined your valley of flesh tonight. Lucky you!" I said cachinnating.
We took our turns in the bathroom, had dinner and slipped under the bed cover.
"I would have morata out of a lot of things in life if I never had you as a friend" I whispered to a sleepy ear.
"What do you mean by morata?" She queried and dropped fast asleep.
"Miss." Came the reply.
I picked up my phone and the time was displayed as 12:56am, I had 32 "morataed" calls and 13 text messages. I didn't bother logging online because I had an idea of what will flood my news feed and the heated argument that accompanied the various Whatsapp groups I belonged.
I pulled up the blanket and lay there in the silence of the night, thinking about how life paired two exact opposite people together as friends; the peaceful, silent Future and the hotheaded, outspoken me; the bearded Otywhyte and the beardless Bellus. How the same people who cheered and encouraged us to come by often to watch football which they said was the game for great minds would chase us like wolves seeking to devour innocent sheep in the dark.
How rapist, burglars and even assassins looked like every other person in the light but sought other people’s life and properties in the dark
"Thank you for putting up to me even in my weirdest moment" I murmured my vote of thanks to a sleepy head.
Nature came calling and I answered. I woke up, engulfed in the cold hands of harmattan. Reluctantly I slipped out of bed to start a promising day, grateful to have Future in my life today.
"Remember everyone is a suspect unless one proves oneself otherwise" she warned as I headed out for the business of the day. "RUN when necessary, fly if you can but RUN" and run I did.
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