POSTED 07/20/2018 19:37
Ever since I was born, all I ever did, every action I ever took was taken with a single goal in mind – to get an approving smile from you. The kind you always display for my brother when he’s finally done something that I’ve done a thousand times without getting any acknowledgement from you.
All my life I’ve wondered if I am really your child or if I was adopted because you seemed not to recognize my existence. They more I tried to make you notice my efforts, the less attention you gave me except when I did something wrong or made a mistake, then you would talk about it for weeks to come and sometimes, months.
But when my brother commits his atrocities, you see no wrong, instead, at times, you blame me for his behaviors. You never knew how that made me feel and you never cared. Sometimes I wondered if I was even worth your love and affection.
I can’t remember the last time I didn’t come first in class but when my brother finally broke into the top ten in his class, you bought him a new bicycle and I didn’t even get a naked doll. I cried my little girl head to sleep every day that time but you never noticed.
When I won the Cowbell Mathematics Competition and the world congratulated and praised me, I didn’t feel like a winner because the one person that mattered to me never saw my achievement as anything. Yet again I was broken.
I won’t forget when I was nominated to represent our state at the Science Fair Summit For The Young at the Capital Territory, you sent me away so quickly without a word like you couldn’t wait for me to leave home. I didn’t really concentrate at the summit because my thoughts were filled with you and your disheartening actions towards me.
Not one nice word came from you when I got scholarship to study medicine in Ukraine, the only reason you feigned a smile was because you were finally going to be rid of me for a while. I just wondered what I did to you. Was it a bad thing to be your daughter?
I lived my life in a strange land without you calling to check up on me, to know how I was surviving. Without you trying to find out if I was dead or alive. How could you stay for so long without trying to hear from your only daughter?
Your attitude towards me used to really bother me, even to the point of depression but after you sent me away unceremoniously and stayed without checking up on me, I grew up. I realized that I didn’t really need your approval, that all I needed was to continue to be good at what I do and be successful. This new mentality helped me study hard with the goal to become one of the best heart specialists in the world.
Now I hear that you are in a critical condition. That the son you cherish so much has put you in the Intensive Care Unit. Now see how the son you love so much have given you a heart attack and the daughter you so much despise is on to the rescue...
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